Not Superman
by shacky20
Summary: Post 4x4, not everyone can save them all...... CSI Slash.. Nick/Greg


**Title: Not Superman**

**Pairing: Nick/Greg CSI SLASH!!**

**Rating: M Yes another one folks, have no idea why I didn't load them on sooner.**

**Disclaimer: Yes I own them, and keep them in my closet for my personal pleasure**

**Summary: We all can't be Superman. Nick deals with the consequences. post 4x4 Season 5**

**This is also my first ever PWP, sex scene, needless to say slash, so bare with me…**

Nick sat at the couch in silence, not having any idea of how long he had been actually sitting there looking at nothing. Long enough to go from sunrise to the early hour morning, he could tell by the noise level outside, the sound of people going to their jobs, normal jobs, jobs where dead little kids weren't routine. He realized it had been long enough for his nice cup of hot coffee to grow cold in his hands, long enough for his damp body and hair to dry after his shower, he couldn't jump in the shower fast enough, he felt so dirty, which was ridiculous since he spent a good portion of his night in the freaking Laundromat, a God Damn Laundromat, and he didn't know if the day would soon come again when the scent of detergent and dryer sheets wouldn't make him sick to his stomach.

By the way the sun shown in the house, and the temperature of his coffee cup, it had to be at least two hours he was thinking, not that it mattered. He got held up with the interrogation of a suspect, a child, who had no idea what he had done, because he was in way over his head and no one realized. His mind still couldn't reconcile the difference between the child and the killer, so he tried not to, it wasn't his job. His job was the how, not the why, not what was going through the mind of the person, that was for cops, and judges, and jurors to deal with, but they weren't the ones that had to sit across from that kid when it dawned on him that he killed his best friend. He was, and he had to live with that. He truly hated this part of the job, this wasn't about putting the bad guys away, catching them when they thought they got away with it, when they always, always left something behind they thought was impossible to trace. This was about two kids who no one was looking after with too much damn beer in their system, what the hell were they thinking. At long last he heard the noise he was waiting for, although he wasn't going to admit that to anyone, but he needed something to get his mind off of this miserable night. He heard the click of keys in the lock and door open and shut, and that lovely, beautiful familiar voice fill the empty silence.

Greg walked in with his cheerful mood for all to see, and this was exactly what Nick was looking forward to. Greg started in while he was grabbing and preparing his coffee to come and sit by Nick.

"Hey Nick, you are never going to believe this. I think this might actually be a first for anyone on the night shift, and it was kind of scary at first, but it's all cool, and another weird thing I can add to my list of working for the crime lab. Sara and I were checking out the death of some body builder dude, and all of a sudden these guys in suits run in and grab Sara and me and tell us how Doc Robbins found some sort of green puss in his head, coming out it eyes, can you believe it? So, they had to give us a decontamination shower on site. And Sara actually said that she saw everything after I was the gentleman and kept my eyes shut. Can you believe that? And look at my hair, I don't think it's been this flat since my court date. Oh, and I think all those work outs you've had me doing are starting to pay off. So, it was this sort of mold, and we actually got to tear apart his walls, and hey, Nick, Nick, you OK babe, you don't look so good, what happened tonight? " Greg looked up to see tears start to form in Nick's eyes. "Hey babe, your starting to scare me, is something wrong, talk to me please."

"Greg, I just don't get it. Sometimes I love this job, can't imagine doing anything else in the world. Nothing beats figuring it all out and bringing the bad guys in and seeing the looks on their face when they know they are caught, and there is know way out of it. But this, I can't even explain it Greg, there is no way to explain the who, the how, or the why, except for complete and utter carelessness and irresponsibility, and there just isn't one person to blame, they all have it, and no one will be punished. The one who probably will get the most deserves it the least, he already got the worst punishment, he left his friend to die."

"Hey baby, talk to me, what is this all about, was this the case they put you on last night. God, I wish they would quit giving you those cases, the hell it puts on you, I'm so sorry babe." And Greg leaned in and held his lover tight for a moment before Nick pulled back to look Greg in the eyes.

"Some prostitute found some 12 year old boy under a blanket outside the Laundromat, we kind of assumed it was a homeless kid or a runaway maybe , but this was too much man. He was nicely dressed, not malnourished, I didn't get it. Took him back to the morgue, to get all trace off of him and look for anything to tell me what happened. It was awful G, staring down at this little boy, his whole life ahead of him, laid out on a steel slab, cold as the metal he lay on. I found something in one of his pockets that lead me to the school he went to, and it was a rather private, expensive school. Some outward signs of trauma, bruising, burn marks, Doc Robbins thought it might have been some abuse but we weren't sure. So, I tracked down the only lead I had from that school, and that was a pain in the ass. He went to Butterfield Academy of all places, and they wouldn't say a word to me. But Cath of all people had the roster, so I found him."

"So, I take it he went there? What the hell was this kid doing under a blanket in that part of town. My God Nicky, I'm so sorry"

"Oh, that's just the beginning G, you won't believe this. I went to his home address, and some half dress teen age girl answered the door, claiming she was sick, yeah, sick with a hangover. Her parents were away for the weekend, and left them there all alone. I mean, she must have been all of 16 or 17, and the house Greg, I mean you could have put four of our house in it, and the parents left her "in charge" yeah right. Then I guess her boyfriend stepped in, enlightened things a little, sick my ass, she was so hung over I'm surprised she could drag herself to the door. She still thought Chase was at his friends house, didn't have a damn clue that he was actually in a morgue. I just don't get how families can treat each other with so much indifference."

" I may regret asking this, but how did the kid end up at the Laundromat?" At his words he saw Nick visibility flinch. "Hey, if this is too much or you don't want to talk about it, it's OK, I understand. I just remember how good you were to me after I found that boy in the dumpster. I don't know how I would have been able to handle it if it weren't for you Nicky, and I just want to be able to help in the same way, I know I don't have the experience, but I am great at listening. Well, OK not all the time, but I promise to keep my mouth shut long enough for you to talk."

Nick couldn't help but grin at that, and it felt great. Just sitting here with Greg, having him stroke his hand like that, knowing there was someone there to now come home to, to talk to, to listen to, didn't make it all seem so bad. God what did he do to deserve the warmth and comfort of this beautiful man, and how did he survive so long in this lonely cold city without him, so he tried to continue.

"The sister decided it was party time since the parents were out of town, of course, and she told her little brother to go to a friends house, which of course they didn't do, figured it was a great chance to check out a high school party, and try some beer. When the sister found them still there, she kicked him out, kicked him out of his own house, and sent them back to the friends house."

"Which of course they didn't do."

"Of course, they decided to go and goof around for awhile, have a little fun. So, then they found themselves messing around at the laundry mat, and Chase thought it would be fun to go for a ride. Well, his friend put him in, put him in a fucking dryer Greg, then he said it got fuzzy after that. Too much beer, no thinking ability, he had no idea what he was doing. He killed his best friend and he doesn't even remember G. God, you should have seen the look on the poor kids face. He actually threw up when he realized what he'd done. I didn't know to be angry at him for his stupidity, mad at the sister for her utter lack of responsibility, and friend's parents for not checking up on their son either, the parents for leaving a completely inept teenage girl in charge of her twelve year old brother for the weekend, or feel sorry for the kid, because no one cared enough to look after him. Can you imagine knowing you did that, how is that poor kid ever going to go on and live his life. He'll be lucky if he doesn't end up on either anti-depressants for the rest of his life, if he's lucky, or go the other route to take away the pain of knowing what'd he done with the real stuff. I hate this part of the job."

"So do I Nick, if you would have told me last year that I would have found a starved little five year old boy in the trash, I probably would have stayed in my nice safe little lab. And we usually do get to put the bad guys away, but as we learn, there sometimes isn't a bad guy to get, sometimes it's just stupidity, bad luck, circumstances, or bad judgment on someone else's part. We can't change that part, but we can give the family some peace about what actually happened, and you did that Nicky, even if they didn't like it, you let them know what happened to there boy."

He leaned over and grabbed Nick and held him for several minutes, just rubbing his back, letting him know that there was some refuge somewhere in the horror of seeing death in a small child's eyes. Greg also knew that this was going to be a lot for Nick to take just after that other small dead boy just a few weeks ago because his brother couldn't control his anger. He took that one so hard too. Greg didn't know if he could make it through two in as many weeks. But he was going to do his damnedest to make Nick realize what a hero he was to most people, giving them comfort and peace of mind, which is worth more than anything.

After several minutes of just relaxing against Greg, Nick's eyes flew open, like something out of a cartoon.

"Ah G, what do you mean that Sara saw everything? Apparently I missed part of that conversation because why were you sharing a shower with Sara, and better yet, why was she checking you out?"

"Oh, sounding a little jealous there, aren't we? Like I said before, there was some kind of toxic mold there, so they had to give us a decontamination shower, and they just threw us in a tent together, and stripped of us all of our clothes. It was the strangest thing. I didn't know whether to be scared or think, 'Yeah, I finally get to see Sara naked,' but being the gentlemen I am, I kept my eyes forward only. And also being the gentlemen I am, I let her know that so she wouldn't be concerned, and she informed me that she saw everything. Maybe she doesn't see me as a threat anymore since she knows I'm a one man kind of guy."

"Why I'm gonna get her, she knows better that take a peek at your ass, or do I need to remind her that ass belongs to me Sanders."

"No, but you could always remind me, you know I do have a short term memory problem, and I forget easily."

"Then get over here and let me remind you."

But before Nick could move, Greg jumped off the couch and ran towards the bedroom, with Nick barely catching him as he got to the bedroom.

"Those workouts aren't doing enough if I can catch you that easy."

"What makes you think I didn't want to get caught, I mean I can't think of a better way to spend my morning than you reminding me whom I belong to." And that being said, Greg leaned him, for a hard kiss, this wasn't about tenderness, or compassion, or affection, but pure lust, and wanting, and Greg couldn't get close enough all of a sudden. Nick wanted so much at that moment, to shut those images of deal boys, careless people, innocent friends out of his head, and just concentrate on the feel of Greg. The one person who could do that and still make him feel adored, loved, and wanted more than anyone ever came close to in his life.

"Do you want to grab a shower before bed?" Greg asked as he gave Nick that leering look as he waggled his eyebrows at his lover.

"No, I took one when I got home, and apparently Sara made sure you were nice and clean for me."

"Hey, I'm good, I can't help if I am irresistible to women, and men for that matter."

"So, since we are both nice and shiny clean, how about we get out of these clothes and head to bed?"

"Oh, I thought you'd never asked." And Greg started helping Nick out of his clothes, what little amount he was wearing, just his sweatpants after his earlier shower.

Nick kissed Greg hungrily, not wanting to draw it out, not wanting the build up, wanting the raw passion of the moment take him away from all of the ugliness they saw in the world. He quickly worked at getting Greg out of his clothes. And Greg was more than willing to help. He loved this side of Greg, this freedom Greg had encompassed all around him. The pure and utter love in his eyes, the willingness to give his body to Nick without him having to utter a word of what he wanted from Greg. Greg always knew what Nick needed, either to feel in control, make Greg beg for Nick to take him, make him so eager for Nick that Greg couldn't keep from touching himself in anticipation, or having Greg take him, take away Nick's control, make him feel completely free and cherished. Greg could worship his body like Nick had never dreamed anyone could, and he knew he was long past the point of every giving it up, he would hold on to Greg with everything he had, but in the end, Greg was all he needed, all he wanted, the rest was meaningless without this man to share it with.

And Greg knew what Nick needed once again, to feel treasured, ravaged, and completely vulnerable to the one person he knew he could relinquish control to freely, and Greg knew just how to do that. After both of their clothes lay on the floor, Greg gently laid Nick down on the bed, spreading his knees apart and slowly made his way up the bed towards his goal, stalking him like a cat on the prowl. Nick just closed his eyes and waited for the sensation to begin, the anticipation of Greg's first lick, touch, on his cock, he loved that first moment, relished giving himself over completely to another without hesitation, it was total freedom that he loved. And there it was, that tongue, and perfect tongue, licking a wet hot line from starting at his balls to the tip of his cock. There Greg lingered, gently licking, almost like a lollipop, not wanting to miss any single flavor of Nick. Then he started to gently suck, not too much, just enough to make Nick whimper and slowly lay his hands on Greg's head. He loved the way Greg did this. Then he would start all over again, teasing, letting go completely, and Nick never knowing where he was going to feel the wet heat again next set his skin tingling. And there is was, licking and sucking again, from the tip to the base of his cock, and God how did Greg do that so well.

He couldn't stand it anymore, he had to reach down and drag Greg up for a kiss, he wanted to taste Greg, mingle tongues, feel all that energy in his arms, so he dragged him up for a scorching kiss. It was all about lust and need, and feeling, love was a given, he didn't need it right now, that was always there and there was comfort in that fact, the love and trust was always there. That is what made is so easy to let go and let Greg take control of him like he did, and he loved it. The way Greg knew every inch of him, knew exactly how to drag it out, or how to make him come quick and hard. Greg slowly backed away, straddling Nick's hips, thrusting slowly and Nick could see Greg cock just dripping for him. And Nick had to taste that as well, he pulled Greg's hips forward, until he could reach out and lick Greg, taste that sweet essence, needed to. Greg thrust once, twice, into his mouth and then slowly dragged two fingers into his own mouth. Sucking slowly, so painfully erotic, and Nick couldn't tear his eyes off Greg's mouth, knowing where it just was.

He reached up and took Greg's hand out of his mouth, and brought Greg's fingers in his own mouth to suck, and Greg couldn't help the moan that escaped him at the sensation of Nick sucking his fingers, first slowly, then rough, getting them wet as he could. Greg knew the signs, and wouldn't leave his lover waiting. Greg regrettably pulled his fingers out of Nick's warm wet mouth, and slid back down his body, leaving a trail a hot wet kisses down his chest, them stomach, them latching onto his cock for all he could and began to suck vigorously. Nick couldn't help but started moving his hips, his reflexes taking over, and began to fuck Greg's perfect, beautiful mouth, and Greg let him. He relaxed his throat as best he could to let Nick as far down as he wanted to go, Greg loved to let Nick fuck his mouth, to taste Nick on his tongue. And he knew what to do next. He slowly slid one finger inside Nick, and heard him gasp at the sensation, knowing what it was doing to him. He kept of the steady pace of the sucking, then going down further and swallowing, then he would let up and start all over again. Nick started to thrust up into his fingers, enjoying the penetration.

"Oh God G, please don't stop, let me fuck your mouth, love to see you fuck my mouth baby, so good. I need to, I want to so bad."

"Don't worry baby, I'm gonna take real good care of you." And he brought two fingers back up to his mouth to get them nice and wet again, and Nick flinched in anticipation of what was coming. Greg bent over and swallowed him whole in one long breath, it was almost too much, and Nick knew he wasn't going to last like this, is was all so much, seeing Greg suck him, bob up and down, he his throat move and he was swallowing him yet again, and God, he needed this so much, needs Greg so bad it scares him. Then Greg slips two saliva soaked fingers into Nick and he bucked up in response.

"Oh God, don't stop baby, more I need more Greg, please, I want to come in your mouth, I want to fuck that mouth baby, please." And that was all that Greg needed to hear. He leaned over and took Nick full length in again, all the way, then quickly put both fingers all of the way inside Nick, and pulled them almost all the way out, and thrust back in. It was all he could take.

"Yeah, so good baby, that's is, can't stop it, make me come, God please make me come for you, only for you. " Nick gritted out, barely audible, but Greg knew. He swallowed once, twice, then shoved back in Nick again, and heard the broken moan escape Nick's mouth. Greg loved the feeling of Nick's cum sliding down his throat, loved the taste of him. He sucked him for all he had, and gently pulled out of him. Sliding back up Nick's body, to let Nick kiss him again. He was still hungry for more though, he wanted it all. Nothing less.

"Greg, fuck me, please, I need to feel all of you inside me."

"Your wish is my command." Greg loved to fuck Nick, and it wasn't something he got the chance to do often, so he cherished the sensation, knowing what was coming, he savored the moments just before. Greg grabbed the lube that was to the side of the bed. And he knew it wasn't going to last near long enough, he was already so hard it was almost painful.

Nick watched Greg lube himself up like a hungry lion. Watching Greg take his hand, and run it down his own cock, enjoying it, reveling in the feel of the friction after aching for so long. He wanted to be able to look Nick in his eyes as he took him, so he lifted one of Nick's legs up, and gently lined himself up.

"Are you ready for this?" Nick looked up at him like it was the stupidest question he had been asked in the past decade. The look in Nick's eyes almost made Greg come, God those eyes, they held everything, love, hunger, hurt, pain, fear, but most of all trust, and Greg couldn't believe that it was all for him.

He slowly slid inside, enjoying each excruciating second. He didn't want to go full force to fast, didn't want to hurt him, and he knew he wouldn't last doing that either.

Nick grabbed him and pulled him down. "God you are so beautiful, I love the way you make me feel, I love feeling you inside me, this is all I ever need, do you know that? I love you so much Greg."

"I love you too Nick, always have, don't know how I ever lived without this, without you. Don't ever want to have to." And that was the last words Greg could utter. He could feel Nick squeeze around him. He had to give in to the primal need. He reached between them and he grab Nick's half hard dick, he didn't want to come alone, and started stroking in time to his thrusts.

It was almost too much for Nick, he was still so sensitive from before, but God Greg's fingers felt so good wrapped around him, and he could feel Greg hit his prostate on each upstroke and the sensations were overwhelming. Greg started speeding up his strokes on Nick's cock, and his intensity. His thrusts became harder and faster, and Nick knew Greg was getting close.

"Look at me Greg, look at me." Greg looked up, into Nick's eyes and saw everything he ever wanted to see.

"Greg, I love you so much, never leave me. Need you, need you, need this, so much baby. Always need this from you."

"Never Nick, never, you are my world, God, you feel so incredible, never want to let you go, could never give this up, never. God Nicky, too good, so tight, so fucking good, can't stop."

"Then don't, come baby, look at me." And Greg did as commanded, started pounding harder and harder, he could feel it coming, knew he was gonna come.

"Come in me Greg, I wanna feel your warmth in me." And with that Greg let himself empty into Nick.

"AH GOD NICK, God Nick, so good, make it so good!" And before he came down from his orgasm, he wanted Nick to come with him. So, he thrust one last time, and squeezed Nick harder.

"Come for me again Nick, please come with me." And that was all the invitation Nick needed, and followed Greg over the edge one more time. Greg felt spent, but so good, he laid on top of Nick to recover and caught his breath. He knew nothing in this world could ever feel as good as the feeling on a naked Nick Stokes under him, in a haze of post orgasm haze.

Greg slowly pulled out and rolled off of Nick to his side. Nick rolled over also and pulled Greg closer for a deep long kiss. His love for the man apparent in the heart felt kiss, and Greg reciprocated the emotion of it.

"You know I love you more than anything G right? I couldn't do this without you. Without you to come home to and remind me that the world isn't such a horrible place, just sometimes horrible things happen."

"I love you too Nicky, and if we forget that, we'll never be able to do our job and still be normal functioning people. We can't save everyone, but we can make it easier for the people left behind. And as long as we have each other, we can make it through it, I promise. I wouldn't give this up for anything. This is everything to me, you are everything to me, remember that when you can't be Superman all the time."

"OK, I'll remember that, as long as next time Sara checks out your ass you remind her that your ass is taken thank you very much, and I don't share." He made the point by grabbing said body part and squeezing.

"You start that up again and we are never gonna make it out of this bed today, and the only memories I want of showers is with a naked you in it. Race you to the bathroom." And with that, Greg was streaking across the bedroom for the shower. And Greg was right, there job was to help those left behind, and he couldn't always be Superman, but if he had Greg to come home to and share all the anguish and pain, plus the elations of catching the bad guys, yeah, he could do this, he couldn't imagine being anywhere else. And with that he jumped out of the bed.

"Better make it a cold shower G if you want any sleep today."


End file.
